Call Centre Enquiries

British Rail Customer: "How much does it cost to Bath on the train?"
Operator: "If you can get your feet in the sink, then it's free."

British Rail Customer: "I've been ringing 0800 2200 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?".
Clerk: "Where did you get that number from, sir?"
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre."
Clerk: "I'm afraid they are our opening hours."

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on."

Caller: "I'd like the RSPCA please."
Operator: "Where are you calling from?"
Caller: "The living room."

RAC Motoring Services
Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?"
Operator: "Doesn't the product name give you a clue?"