Your Daily Moment of Zen:
- Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of
me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just
leave me alone.
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and
a burst tyre.
- It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your
neighbour's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
- Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
- Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be
- No one is listening until you make a mistake.
- Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
- Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
- It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
warning to others.
- It is far more impressive when others discover your good
qualities without your help.
- Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.
- Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their
shoes. That way, when you do criticise them, you're a mile away and you
have their shoes.
- If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to
fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
- If you lend someone £20, and never see that person again,
it was probably worth it.
- Don't squat with your spurs on.
- If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
- If you drink, don't park - accidents cause people.
- Never miss a good chance to shut up.
- Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes
from bad judgment.
- The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and
put it back in your pocket.
- Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
- A closed mouth gathers no foot.
- Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side and a dark side,
and it holds the universe together.
- Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is
- Experience is something you don't get until just after you need
- We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.