Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting pleas to come out and give himself up...
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An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts...
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Fire investigators on Maui have determined the cause of a blaze that destroyed a $127,000 home last month -- a short-circuit in the homeowner's newly installed fire prevention alarm system.

"This is even worse than last year," said the distraught homeowner, "when someone broke in and stole my new security system..."
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A man walked in to a Kwik Shop in Topeka, Kansas, and asked for all the money in the till. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the assistant and worked behind the counter himself for three hours until police turned up and grabbed him...
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In Medford, Oregon, a 27-year-old jobless man with an MBA blamed his college degree for his murder of three people. "There are too many business grads out there," he said. "If I had chosen another field, all this may not have happened..."
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Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a ID parade. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"...
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A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No, you idiot!" the man shouted. "This is her husband!"...
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In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket...