How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
- At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at
passing cars to see if they slow down.
- Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
- Insist that your e mail address is:
Xenaemail@example.com or Elvis-the-King@companyname.com.
- Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want
fries with that.
- Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized
- Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
- Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has
gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
- Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
- Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
- Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level
lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that
- Don't use any punctuation
- As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Ask people what sex they are.
- Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
- Sing Along at the opera.
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
- Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits.
Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially
effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)
- Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're
doing. For example: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.
- Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
- Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their
party because you're not in the mood.
- Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies.
- Call the psychic hotline and just say, "Guess"
- Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock
- When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!"
"3rd time this week!!!"
- When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot,
yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
- Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me,
its the voices in your head that do"
- Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going
to have to let one of you go"
- Every time you see a broom yell "Honey, your mother is here"