A Hedgehog trained to scuttle up and down the table from guest to guest
makes an unusual mobile cheese and pineapple cube nibble dispenser at
L. Traintu, Clarkesville
Make cheap but effective baby rattles by gluing a lollipop stick to an
empty matchbox, then filling it with ten woodlice.
Ms G. M. Dowd, Wigan
Minor skin grafts can be performed on pigs by covering any cuts and
grazes with thin strips of bacon.
Phil Wasey, Liverpool
Save money on expensive personalised car number plates by simply
changing your name to match your existing plate.
Mr KVL 74IY, Lincoln
Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand
closer to the object you wish to view.
S Goldhanger, Fulchester
Pop a few teabags in your hot water tank and you can make a hot cuppa
anytime by just turning on the tap.
Mr A.Fowler, Cape Town, South Africa
Avoid jet lag by simply taking an earlier flight, thus arriving fully
refreshed and on time.
Sgt. R. J. Crowe, 662 Squadron, Germany
Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the
fishes' eyes bulge and cause them to swim in an amusing manner.
B. Batten, Dublin
Save time when crossing a one-way street by only looking in the
direction of oncoming traffic.
D. Rogers, Hemel Hempstead
When crossing a one-way street always look in BOTH directions in case a
large, blue furniture removal lorry is reversing the wrong way up the
D. Rogers, Hemel Hempstead General Infirmary
Thicken up runny low-fat yoghurt by stirring in a spoonful of lard.
P. Witney, London
Avoid losing contact lenses by drilling a small hole in each one and
attaching them with a length of nylon fishing line. This can then
be worn around the neck.
B. Morgan, Criccieth
A next door neighbour's car aerial, carefully folded, makes an ideal
coat hanger in an emergency.
Nick Jeggo, Adbaston, Staffs.
Deter goldfish from having sex by throwing a small bucket of air over
any that you catch in the act.
Fanny Cyclops, South Norwood
Olympic athletes. Disguise the fact that you've taken anabolic
steroids by running a bit slower.
B. Johnson, Canada