This bloke was getting on a bit and living alone, and was very sad and lonely.  So he went to the pet shop and asked the assistant for a pet that would keep him company through his twilight years whilst not needing too much care and attention itself.

The shop assistant said "I have the very thing, quite special  you know" and produced a cardboard box.  Inside was a millipede.

"What's so special about that?" asked the man. The assistant replied "It's a talking millipede".

The man was mightily impressed and bought the invertebrate. Back at home the guy thought 'let's see what this is all about then' and opened the box.  He asked the millipede "Shall we go to the pub then?" but got no reply.

He asked the question again but still his new pet said nothing.

He sat back and pondered his acquisition and considered taking it back to the pet shop, but decided to give it one more attempt at least.

Looking into the box he asked again "Are we going to the pub then?"

The millipede replied "Alright, for god's sake, I'm just putting my shoes on."