Results of a contest for "theories" sponsored by Omni magazine.
- If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of
pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite
number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all the world's
great literary works in Braille.
- Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on
your eardrums. This pressure change outside your eardrums
unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they must yawn to even it
- Communist China is technologically underdeveloped because they
have no alphabet and therefore cannot use acronyms to communicate ideas
at a faster rate.
- The earth may spin faster on its axis due to
deforestation. Just as a figure skater's rate of spin
increases when the arms are brought in close to the body, the
cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to spin dangerously fast.
- When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when
toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I
propose that if you strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two
will hover, spinning inches above the ground. Therefore, using a giant
buttered cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York