This bloke's in bed with his missus when there's a rat-a-tat-tat on the
front door. He rolls over to look at his alarm clock, and it's half
three in the morning. "Sod that for a game of soldiers", he thinks, and
rolls over. But, a louder knock follows.
"Aren't you going to answer that?" asks his wife, so he drags himself
out of bed, and answers the door.
"Eh mate" says the stranger, "can you give us a push??"
"No, piss off, it's half three. I was in bed" says the man and he shuts
Back in the bedroom he tells his wife what happened but she says "Dave,
you're a right git. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring
rain on the way to pick the kids up from the babysitter and you had to
knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have
happened if he'd told us to piss off??"
So he gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He
opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he
shouts: "Eh mate, do you still want a push??" He hears a distant voice
cry out "Yeah, please mate." So, still being unable to see the stranger
he shouts "Where are you?" The reply comes back - "I'm over here
on the swings."