A Decimal Point - I'm a Dot in Place  
Animosity - Is No Amity 
Astronomer - Moon Starer  
Benson and Hedges - NHS been a godsend
Chris Rea - Rich arse
Contradiction - Accord not in it  
Dame Agatha Christie - I am a right death case
David Mellor - Dildo marvel
Desperation - A Rope Ends It 
Diego Maradona - O dear, I'm a gonad
Dormitory - Dirty Room  
Eleven plus two - Twelve plus one  
Evangelist - Evil's Agent
Gloria Estefan - Large fat noise
Irritable Bowel Syndrome - O my terrible drains below
Michael Heseltine - Elect him, he's alien
Mother-in-law - Woman Hitler
National Lottery - Total non reality
Princess Diana - End Is A Car Spin 
School Master - The Classroom
Semolina - Is No Meal  
Slot Machines - Cash Lost in 'em  
Snooze Alarms - Alas! No More Z's  
The Earthquakes - That Queer Shake  
The Morse Code - Here Come Dots
Tony Blair PM - I'm Tory plan B
Virginia Bottomley - I'm an evil Tory bigot
Year Two Thousand - A Year To Shut Down
President Clinton of the USA - To copulate he finds interns

To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.
 - In one of the Bard's best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten.

That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.
 - Thin man ran; makes a large stride, left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!